As I start to write this entry, it has not yet been a full day since I attended an event called "Midwest Mirai" at Anime Nebraskon, and already I believe this is a memory that will remain with me for many years to come. To begin, this was my first ever concert experience, so... this might not have seemed that significant or spectacular of an event to "veteran" concert-goers, but it was to me.
There was a whole convention day before this concert, but it's largely irrelevant to this story and what I want to say, so this story begins in the merch line. I had pre-ordered my merch for this concert, and managed to be 3rd in line by not being particularly interested in any of the events happening for the half hour leading up to the merch booth opening and noticing them setting up. So, I stood and waited for a while as a line formed around and behind me. Now, normally, I'm not a particularly outgoing person, but I guess cons give me the confidence to stike up conversation. Maybe I just assume the people in that line must also at least be as strange as I am, if not more. The people next to me in line that I talked to really added to my energy and excitement for the concert. We swapped speculation about the set list, if Gumi would even be in it (she was, btw.), and other chats about vocaloid and other music. I even made a new friend, swapping Discord info.
Then, after waiting a full hour, I got my merch (A light stick, button pin, a badge ribbon, and a few stickers). Then I turned around for the line for the actual concert. and... uh... it was long, to say the least. It was the first event of NebKon that reached max capacity, at least that's what I was told. So I struck up new conversations with new people. These people I talked to were less "vocaloid" fans and more general congoers, being a woman who had been to, according to her, almost every single Nebraskon since its inception, and her neice, who, from my interactions with her, is pretty much entirely offline by way of her parents (honestly not the worst idea, but it made our perceptions of the fandoms we were surrounded by and especially Vocaloid very different). These conversations were more swapping perspectives and then me giving a very scatterbrained crash couse of what Vocaloids are like as a fandom to a middle-aged woman and a tween who has (again, wisely) never opened Twitter or seen a YouTube comment. I ended up sitting next to these folks.
The start of the concert was... flawed, there was a tech issue with lights specifically, had to do with how the rooms for the con had been split up, all that matters is I'm skipping to the third song, because that's when the energy solidifed. All of a sudden, the countless people in that room, with disparate motivations, fandoms, cosplays, ideals, and walks of life became something a little more unified. Light sticks moved to the beat and emphasis. The sea of color and hearind people shout to the high-impact lyrics like "Luka ☆ Luka ☆ Night Fever!" was simply electric.
Then, Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder started, and suddenly, I was 13 years old, and I felt redeemed. I'm not going to go into it here much, but I was kinda lonely back in middle school, and I've started to realize I used to hate myself a lot, but being there, in a crowd that felt united, connected to this thing that I had loved for so long, it moved me. I felt... Connected, to everyone else in there. I'm still not sure how to elaborate on this, and I've taken over a month to write this now, but what I can say is I left that concert feeling less alone, and more motivated than ever. Motivated to live, to connect to others, and let them connect to me.
Not sure how to transition to this point, but I've heard it said about some American demoniations of Christianity that they use big music and emotional presentation to create catharsis and connect you to the church. I didn't understand that until I went to this concert. For better or for worse, my grave in vocaloid was dug deeper because of Midwest Mirai, and to be completely honest, I think it's exciting and I can't wait to see where it goes. Hell, I already have a ticket for Miku Expo next year, I'm knee deep in here now, and I'll probably have a post about that concert after it happens, so see you next year for that!